Everyone probably has at least one, if not many, relationships they knew they shouldn’t have gotten into it. Your mind is most likely the culprit every time this happens. You analyze a guy you encounter and try to rationalize getting into the relationship for a variety of reasons. You may be bored, have poor options, or recovering from a disastrous relationship, and he just may be the best of the worst.
Your mind could possibly be thinking a million things like, well this could be convenient, he likes me so much, or in my case, he seems all right, I guess this could work. All these things usually pertain to the great personality traits of the guy and ignore how strange or horrible he probably is, causing your brain to temporary silence your heart shouting “Don’t do it!” in the background.
Logic is equally as important as remembering what your first instinct was and listening to what your heart is telling you. Yes, your mind is rational and reasonable, and it has helped you figured out so much in life, like mathematical problems, or how best to strategize other areas of your life. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, isn’t it best to listen to your heart?
When you have gotten into a regrettable, brain-induced relationship, you will quickly see things souring. You will notice an obvious grimace on your face as you reject one of his calls, or when you ignore his text message. You will blow every misstep on his part out of proportion, because inside you know you never should have been with him. Even though you have already declared yourself as part of a committed relationship, in a short while your eyes will start to wander to other men. Soon everything in connection with the relationship will get so tedious and distasteful, that you will just try to avoid it all and escape to your friends.
If you are experiencing these symptoms of an all logic based relationship, it is advisable to be get out of the relationship as soon as possible. You pseudo-significant other, in most cases, won’t realize that you aren’t really into it, so you should just end it before it causes greater heartache for them, or causes you greater break-up guilt.
You should always follow your heart, but also take into account what your brain has to say, to make you the most happy. Time isn’t running out. Be patient and find someone who your heart and mind both agree with. This will save you from spending countless hours from determining if you are in the right relationship or treating the other person as you should. You will know it’s right, when a person satiates both your mind and heart perfectly.
This post is a part of the Follow Your Heart series.
Does your heart know more than your head?
Or is it the other way around?
Which one will lead to more happiness, purpose, and fulfillment?
The answer is both.
This is not about neglecting a part of you.
Instead, it’s about using everything at your disposal.
You have a head and a heart for a reason. They both help in their own way.
You Don’t Have to Choose
You don’t have to choose between your heart and your head.
The only reason you think they’re separate is because you’ve been told they are.
How do I know? Well, consider this: If you had no thoughts or concepts, how would you live?
You would just live, right? You would live life one moment at a time. You wouldn’t worry about your heart or your head.
But how do you listen to both? Let’s have a look.
How to Use Both Your Heart and Your Head
Your heart and your head are like two advisors. They operate in different ways and speak different languages.
Once you understand them, and understand how to leverage their strengths, you will make millions and become famous overnight.
But it will change the way you live.
Here are 5 ways I listen to both my head and my heart:
- Start with your heart. I start by listening to my heart. I often feel drawn somewhere. I feel inspired to do something. Your heart may communicate with you in a different way. The more you listen, the better you’ll get at it. I go much deeper into this in my book, Follow Your Heart.
- Notice your fears. If my heart nudges me to do something meaningful, I’ll often run into fear. I’ll run into what if thoughts. I do my best to welcome them in. Fears are just my head making sure that I stay safe and that I don’t dive off a cliff.
- Let go. Next, I let go of my expectations. As I’m writing this article, I don’t worry about what you will think of it, because it would muddle what I feel inspired to write. It has taken me a long time to get to this place, so don’t think that you have to let go of everything today. And when I say let go of my expectations, I don’t mean I don’t have thoughts. I still have fearful thoughts, I just don’t give them as much attention as I used to.
- Listen to your head. You also have to remember to be practical. This is where your head, or mind, comes in. Your mind is great at breaking things down and living life logically. Most people live solely through their mind, but when you blend both heart and mind, things become easier. Not right away, but with time.
- Blend. I got the inspiration to write this article, but the practical part of me helped me outline, write, and edit. As time goes on, the blending of both heart and head will become more seamless. But before that happens, your head needs to see that following your heart is the best path.
Don’t Make My Tips Into Rules
The biggest mistake you can make is think that there’s a formula for following your heart.
The moment you give your power away to someone or something, you stop following your heart. The tips in this article are an example of what works for me.
In reality, there are no steps. If you want to follow your heart, you have to listen to yourself and have confidence in your own inner GPS.
This won’t happen overnight. You may need to try a few different “formulas,” but remember that you alone hold all the answers.
The struggle is not something to be gotten rid of, but something to be embraced.
So, should you follow your heart or your head?
The answer is both. Learn to respect both. They are two advisors that help you live your life.
Remember that there is no rush. A big part of the anguish you feel is because you’re trying to force progress.
You are where you need to be right now. Wanting to be somewhere else is what creates tension. What if you let yourself be right here, just for a moment?
Take a deep breath and relax.
Enjoy this adventure we call life.
There will always be challenges.
You will always keep growing, so you might as well enjoy it.
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