Hi! I wrote essay for Toefl exam, can you review it please! thank you!
Compare and contrast the advantages of city living and country living. Defend your preference
Nowadays majority of people prefer living in a city. Also this is the well known fact that there are more people in cities than in countries. However, both city living and country living have their benefits.
Those who like living in the city believe that it has a large number of advantages. First, the big offer of the options for spending free time. For instance people can visit various museums, cinemas, and libraries. Second, there are a lot of working places in the city. The biggest companies are located in the cities. Therefore, it is easier for people to find suitable job in a city. Also, people have more variants in choosing career. Third, you can buy whatever you need if you live in a city. In opposite, persons who live in a country , don't have wide choice of shops. Also people are able to use different kinds of services. For example a laundry, a car wash, a beauty salon. In the contrast, there is no any variety of services in a village.
Other people, who live in countries, argue that there are more advantages of living in villages than in cities. First, it is easy to get from one place to another. Because the distances in countries are not as long as in towns. As a result, the commuting to the work is not a problem. Second, people, living in a village, feel themselves in safety. The crime rate in a country is lower than in a city. Third, people, living in a village are more friendly. For example, my cousin lives in a small village for three years. She claims that she has a lot of friends there. Therefore she doesn't consider about moving to the city.
In conclusion, personally, I experienced both living in the small country, where I was born, and living in the big city, where I live now. In my opinion, life in a country is quite and slowly. Therefore, it is more suitable for children and old people. I prefer living in a big city, where I can have a large number of opportunities.
In opposite, persons who live in a country do not have wide choice of shops.
"Do not" "cannot" are better than "don't" "can't", because they are more formal.
Other people, who live in countries, argue that ...
Ummm...It's not a big deal, but I think some people in countries wants to move to big cities, too. So it seems that it lacks accuracy. You may use this sentence instead, "Other people, who prefer the countries..."
In conclusion, personally...
Where is your conclusion? As you stated about the advantages and disadvantages for living in counties and large cities, your conclusion should be something like "In conclusion, whether you live in small countries or large cities, there are merits and drawbacks." Your personal experience cannot conclude what you demonstrated above. It just let people feel irrelevant.
life in a country is quiet and slowly
There are no big problems in your essay. Just pay attention to these small points.
CONTINUOUS WRITING: SAMPLE ESSAY ARTICLE: ARGUMENTATIVE
Which do you prefer, living in the countryside or living in the city?
I think living in the countryside is far better than living in the city. There are numerous of reasons why living in countryside is the better than the city. The scenery, the streets, the people and the paced are totally different compare to the city.
The first outstanding characteristic about the countryside is that it is beautiful and peaceful. The air is fresh and the surroundings green. This is because the countryside is free from pollution, be it air, land or noise pollution. There no such perfect peaceful view that you can see other than in the countryside.
There are no crowded streets and heavy traffic in the countryside. Thus there are no fumes from cars and smoke from factories buildings to pollute the air. The trees surrounded the countryside help the people from inhaling the polluted air. The freshness smell of plant somehow helps the people of the countryside to have a healthy life.
Furthermore, people in the countryside are more conscious of keeping their surroundings clean and so there is little throwing of rubbish everywhere, only at designated places. This is unlike the cities where if the garbage trucks do not collect the rubbish disposed by household or restaurants, the city will be overflowing with rubbish! This will attract the mosquitoes, fly, rats and wild dogs to pollute their surrounding that will cause them to have diseases like dengue and cholera.
Thirdly, heavy traffic and crowded streets increase the level of noise pollution. The honking of cars in the streets is continuous and the crowds on the roads increase the hub of activity. There are also sound of the machine used in manufacturing factories, loud radio in and out the mall. These add to the noise of the city. Even if one lives in residential areas, one is never far from busy streets.
However, in the countryside, life is slow-paced. There is no need to rush around because there are not too many places to go. Most places are close by and people can walk or cycle. Less vehicle used, so less fumes is released.
The most heart-warming thing about the countryside is the attitude of people. People are friendly and helpful. If there are any happy or festive occasions, everyone pitches in to help. This feeling of cooperation and neighbourliness is what separates the countryside from the city.
In the city, people are too busy to take note of the people around. Some hardly even know their neighbours. So they would not even be bothered about what happens to people around. This is why the crime rate is increasing in the city because bystanders do not rush in to help if a crime is committed on the streets.
The pace of life in the countryside is slow so people have more time to enjoy life as the day goes on. Thus, for me to enjoy the quality of life, I prefer to live in the countryside.
In my opinion, one has not experienced life until one has lived in the city. There is so much to see and experience in the bright lights of the city that you cannot get in the countryside. Here in the city, you can learn about how to get along with people of different types, encounter varied situations and solve problems. All these help a person to grow in maturity. After all, experience is the best teacher.
In the countryside, however, you only move around people you are used to. So, you seldom encounter strangers or new and demanding situations. Life is more mundane and routine-like. Staying in a secure, safe place does not allow for one to gain new experiences and grow in maturity.
Furthermore, young people need a life that is exciting and pleasurable. It is the city that offers you entertainment- cinemas, parks and eating places. Here you can hang out with friends and family members. Life as fast-paced and this keeps you active and alert all times. And when it comes to educational opportunities, the city abounds in this. There are good school and libraries that are necessary for your mental development. Furthermore, there are places like museums and educational centres where you can go, to increase your knowledge.
Such places that offer you entertainment or learning opportunities are of course not available in the countryside. For entertainment, there is only the occasional festive celebration or marriage feast or fishing outing. Some may find this appealing but not me. Moreover, opportunities to widen your knowledge are limited in the countryside.
Another point in support of living in the city is the available of jobs. In the city, you can find a job that suits your qualification or interest. If you find a job unsuitable, you can always move to another. This, naturally, increases your earning power and you have better chances of a more comfortable life. Of course, one may argue that one can live in the countryside and work in the city but this will only incur extra expenses and unnecessary inconveniences.
Thus, for all the reasons mentioned above, I think that life in the city is better than living in the countryside. After all, you are young only once.
Source: SPM SAMPLE OF ESSAYS - CONTINUOUS WRITING @ English For All